A Rose is born

But ne'er the rose without the thorn. - Robert Herrick, The Rose

I don't know what happened to my mother's boyfriend, but seven months later she had a new boyfriend. He was tall, blonde, blue eyes, and a firefighter. His best friend was short, brown eyes, brown hair, and a dimple in his chin. He and his best friend had a lot in common... they even both loved my mother. My mom had slept with this firefighter's best friend and I am the result. My mother made my middle name Rose after her grandmother (hence the theme of my blog).

My father took my mother and me home from the hospital. He still wouldn't hear the truth, he wasn't ready for a family. My mother said he even babysat me with a girlfriend once. How could you not recognize your own daughter - especially with my brown hair, brown eyes and the tell all dimple on my chin that only he had?

My mother told the firefighter the truth and they decided to stay together. I remember seeing pictures of flowers on top of the television from the firefighter's family that were sent to my mother. I was looking at my birth certificate when I was older and saw that the firefighter was listed as my father. I asked my mom why and she said "to make him feel better." It was just the one that the parents fill out with the footprints. My legal birth certificate has my real father's name on it.

I have a lot of memories of the tall, shy, blonde man. I loved him like he was my own father. I remember sitting in bed with he and my mom. I was excited about Easter. He told me to go to the kitchen. There was an Easter basket there on the table.

I remember the house we lived in a little and some of the things that I had. I remember a punching clown that you blow up and you would punch it and it would come back upright. I had a wooden swing that my mother attached to the doorway and put me in it while she was cleaning or cooking. My mom raised rabbits. Two of them came in the house frequently and I would play on the floor with them. I had a dog that would let me climb on it. My mom took a lot of pictures where I was sitting on the couch with my box of Crayons with my newest JCPenny Christmas Catalog. I loved to shop even then.

My mother likes to tell the story about one day I decided to run away with my dogs while we lived in this house. I remember it differently. The dogs got out of the gate. This old man was across the street yelling at me "you better get your dogs in that yard." So I was chasing after them trying to get them in the yard.

A year and a half later my brother was born to them. He didn't look much like me. He was blonde with blue eyes.

One day, my mom had to go next door to the grocery store for some milk. She told me to keep an eye on my brother. He was in the bassinet asleep. He woke up and was crying. So I tried to bring him to my mother. But he was too heavy. I was trying to push him to the door in the bassinet. It was still too heavy. It's a good thing because there were steep stairs outside the door. I eventually just ran next door and told my mother he was crying.

My mom loved to take pictures. I remember seeing one of me with my brother and I looked like I was crying and screaming. I asked my mom why I was crying and she said I didn't want to hold my brother. In another picture, my brother was in his cookie monster outfit and I was in my big bird outfit. We were standing in front of the couch.

One forth of July, my brother and I were waving sparklers near the back porch. My brother somehow got burnt by his. I think someone was helping him but he grabbed the hot part before they could stop him.

I remember being over at my brother's aunt and uncles. I think they were just dating then. They both were really nice and I remember his aunt being so beautiful. I remember his aunt changing my brother's diaper and I just remember being in disbelief that he had green poo... the things that stay in my memory. I was always a little mama so I'm sure I was concerned he might be sick.

But even though life seemed good for me, it apparently wasn't for my mother. The firefighter began to drink more and more. My mother got arrested and put in jail over-night because he made her use food stamps that were no longer good.

My mom runs again...

[To be continued ...] @};-